134: Endless Loop

I've never been good at dealing with sleep deprivation. As a kid, up until college, I went to bed at 9 PM and got up at 7 AM consistently, maybe in the summer around daylight's savings I'd get up as early as 5:30-6:00 AM. In college, I discovered martial arts and the class started at 6:30 and went past midnight sometimes. It took a lot of experimenting with snacks, but I managed to stay up the whole time, albeit, usually a puddle on the floor by the end when the teacher was just talking. I'd be a wreck Monday as I popped up at 6 AM with the sun, but I muddled through and it was worth it. In China, I used to get up at 5 AM to email before going to the park to do martial arts. I didn't dream for two years, spending the whole time so tired that as soon as I went to bed, usually 8 PM, I was profoundly asleep till my alarm went off. When I first started living with my now husband, I managed to start staying up till 10 PM, so we could go to bed together. Then we had kids...I remember when my son was about six months he'd want to get up at 5 AM. I'd let him crawl around his room inspecting all his toys and I'd sleep on a mattress on the floor. Now I've hit the same point with number two, except she doesn't really have a room. The one we'd picked out was unusable because the landlord had run wires through the walls for the neighbor's internet, meaning A) if the wires were unplugged the neighboring unit had no internet and B) since they run all the way up to the attic they can't be removed and thus are a baby hazard. So, most days my little girl is getting me up between 4:00 AM and 5:30 AM, aside from nursing in the night, my son might have gotten me up for some midnight drinking yogurt and the naps I relied on with child number 1 don't happen, because when one child rests the other is up or I simply have so many things I have to do that it's impossible. I'm counting the days till we move to our lovely new place where I should have less pending tasks and, more importantly, my daughter will have her own, safe, room full of toys with a new mattress on the floor just for me!