So I figured out the answer to the pink question. I've discovered trying to tell a child aged 4-9 that pink isn't a girl color is impossible. They know The Rules better than any grown up, because they live in a world with no gray space, just black and white. So, I've started answering the "If he's a boy, why is he wearing pink shoes?" with, "because he likes pink. It's a pretty color, don't you like pink?" To which the little girl always answers "Yeah! I do!" End of conversation. I haven't tried this out with little boys yet, but turning it from a gendered color conversation to one simply about if the color was pretty and thus you'd want to wear it. If women can wear pants and masculine colors, why can't boys wear pants and masculine colors? I'm pretty sure right now the answer is that society considers appropriating male attributes is considered empowering, whereas appropriating female attributes is some sort of step down. Hopefully my son's generation will change that. If girls can grow up to be anything, so can boys!